| Does this sound familiar? A victimized kid in Ohio | | | | Of course, there is no single answer, but a very |
| shoots four schoolmates. A bullied outcast in | | | | important clue lies in the stories we tell our kids. |
| Pennsylvania talks his mother into buying him a | | | | Stories are sometimes more important than |
| 9mm semi-automatic weapon to take to school. | | | | sermons. In stories, we get to be all the |
| It seems that sometimes the stakes in | | | | characters if we want. In sermons, it's easier to |
| schoolyard fights can be raised to a deadly level. | | | | discount the voice of the preacher who, let's face |
| We shouldn't be surprised. In the savage world of | | | | it, often sounds a lot like a bully. |
| elementary school, one teacher of my | | | | So what stories do you want to tell our kids? |
| acquaintance estimates that at least a third of all | | | | There's a whole genre of young adult (YA) fiction |
| children are the victims of bullies at least for part | | | | about bullies and their victims. The typical story |
| of their lives. Another source-a pediatrician- says | | | | line has the bully vanquished by the victim. But if |
| that, if you include high school, probably two-thirds | | | | it's true that most kids play both roles at some |
| of all the people who have attended school in | | | | time in their lives, then these stories alienate the |
| America have a story to tell about being the | | | | (temporary) bully and simultaneously aggrandize |
| victim of someone or a group of someones who | | | | their behavior. |
| use their physical or social power to injure them. | | | | Basically, most stories simply shift the power |
| 'Two-thirds' seems sort of extreme. If two out | | | | relationships without questioning the nature of bully |
| of three kids have been bullied, then who's left to | | | | behavior. |
| be the bully? The answer, as revealed by | | | | And so, I was delighted to come across Cheryl |
| interviews with kids on both sides of the bully line, | | | | Tardif's Whale Song, It's not a story about |
| is that last year's victim becomes this year's bully. | | | | bullying, it's a tale of youth and loss and |
| There are lots of reasons for the shift in power | | | | redemption. Folded up in the middle of it though, is |
| over the years: the things that make you queen | | | | a thread about an angry, racist, destructive kid. |
| of the hill in third grade may count for nothing in | | | | Because this is a minor thread in a larger story |
| junior high. | | | | with some very spiritual concerns, the preachy |
| So for those people-parents, teachers, family, | | | | tone is missing. Instead the author is able to |
| who are charged with protecting their kid from | | | | explore the pain and loss and humiliation that's at |
| bullies, there's an additional morally compelling | | | | the heart of the bully's behavior. |
| question: after you protect your child from the | | | | It's a story that just might let the kid who's |
| class bully, how do you prevent your child from | | | | temporarily in the bully's seat see his or her own |
| becoming next year's bully? (The problem won't | | | | behavior and accept responsibility without having |
| go away until parents on both sides of the power | | | | to take on a gigantic load of guilt. |
| struggle see it as a serious matter.) | | | | |