| There is an urban myth that we learn to drive | | | | road to book into a modern hotel that had |
| only after we have passed our driving test. | | | | sufficient parking for the guests when we turned |
| The truth is that most of us never do learn. | | | | a corner and ran straight into a road full of |
| I have been driving for over thirty years without | | | | stationary cars. |
| realising that I couldn't drive until last year when I | | | | At first glance they appeared to be parked and |
| went to Italy to spend a fortnight driving around | | | | then we realised that they were in fact simply |
| the Sicily soaking up the atmosphere and spending | | | | stopped and from the looks on the faces of the |
| time with my god daughter. | | | | occupants, they had been there some time. |
| We met in the capital, Palermo where I was | | | | Decision time, we were being followed by this |
| taken straight to the car hire office by the docks. | | | | time by about a half a dozen other cars so after |
| We were faced with a showroom filled exclusively | | | | a quick glance in the mirror I hauled the wheel |
| with Italian cars and my gaze was almost | | | | round and managed a fine three pointer that left |
| immediately captured by a fine silver Alfa Romeo. | | | | us heading back towards the old town, now |
| I could feel my god daughter tugging at my | | | | reasonably confident that we would be able to |
| sleeve saying something that sounded like Fiat but | | | | find a road that would take us around the jam. |
| it was really too late and the deed was done. | | | | After a mile we were dangerously close to the |
| We left the showroom heading for the street and | | | | old town without finding an alternate route. |
| the nightmare began. | | | | The line of cars following us had grown and now |
| It was a one way street for two lanes of traffic | | | | the other side of the road was full of cars coming |
| that not only had three lanes of cars, there were | | | | out of the old town. |
| also two lanes of motor bikes flying about | | | | We seemed to have no choice other than to |
| between the cars. | | | | carry on into the old town to repeat the |
| I was suddenly feeling very vulnerable in my large | | | | manoeuvre on the harbour wall, or find another |
| Alfa that felt like a huge silver island in a sea | | | | way out. |
| buzzing with little red fiats and Moto's. | | | | Except that we had lost our feeling of size. |
| The road was packed and I could see no | | | | We had stopped feeling that the other traffic was |
| possibility of forcing the Alfa into the tiny gaps | | | | conspiring against us and had to be actively |
| that occasionally presented themselves. | | | | fought in order to maintain our own personal |
| I was seriously considering spending the next two | | | | space. |
| weeks sitting outside the hire shop, staring at the | | | | Now we belonged to the traffic and were part of |
| traffic. | | | | its flow, it no longer felt as if it was some thing to |
| My god daughter, who had been watching my | | | | fight, we had become part of the whole. |
| expression of mounting despair, took charge. | | | | Without even thinking about it I slowed down and |
| She told me to drive out, I said no, there was | | | | indicated to turn in the middle of the narrow road. |
| too much traffic. | | | | It was clear to the other road users that we |
| She said that when the other road users knew | | | | wanted to turn around so in the same way that |
| that I wanted to come out they would make | | | | the traffic had parted in Palermo, the stream |
| room for me. | | | | parted in Cefalu and gave us the space we |
| Faced with the alternative of two weeks in the | | | | needed to turn the car. |
| same spot I let out the clutch and began to edge | | | | We finally found a hotel, with parking, and although |
| forward into the melee. | | | | not actually next to the harbour we still enjoyed |
| Slowly we moved forward and inexorably the | | | | that sea food frenzy we had promised ourselves. |
| traffic closed behind us cutting off any thought of | | | | That was the last time that I experienced stress |
| retreat. | | | | when driving. |
| Once in the stream it was simply a matter of | | | | The rest of our holiday was spent going with the |
| keeping up with the flow and hoping that we | | | | flow and enjoying our relaxing fortnight driving |
| wanted to keep going straight ahead. | | | | around an island full of what had been argued by |
| I could feel the rising panic but I was made of | | | | visitors from the UK as the worst drivers in the |
| sterner stuff, after all it was only a hire car, what | | | | world. |
| was the worst that could happen? | | | | After our experience in Cefalu we were curious |
| We started to edge over to turn right and the | | | | about what had changed that had made such a |
| same thing started to happen. | | | | different to the way I drove. |
| The traffic gently parted for us then simply joined | | | | In the UK we drive as if we own the road. |
| up behind as we gently edged our way across | | | | We have a very selfish idea that the road in front |
| the stream until we arrived at our turning. | | | | of the car belongs to us and that nobody else has |
| I was too grateful to have arrived in one piece to | | | | a right to be where we want to go. |
| think about why we had escaped unscathed from | | | | If a pedestrian steps off the pavement and is hit |
| the traffic and following more instructions from | | | | by a car the drivers excuse is, "he came out of |
| my god daughter, continued the same | | | | nowhere, I did not stand a chance", with the clear |
| performance through gritted teeth until we were | | | | implication that it was the pedestrians fault for |
| out of the city onto the relatively empty | | | | materialising so stupidly right in front of a car. |
| autostrada. | | | | This view is even supported by our legislature, if |
| The relief lasted until we decided to pull over for | | | | you step into the road without looking the |
| lunch. | | | | resultant collision will be your fault. |
| The nightmare began again except that this time | | | | It may even be that this attitude encourages the |
| we were in the hills and the village where we | | | | excessive speed in our towns that makes the |
| decided to stop had a very narrow main street | | | | consequences of a collision with a pedestrian so |
| that everybody had decided to try to get | | | | often lethal. |
| through at the same time. | | | | The view that we came to understand in Sicily |
| For the next two days every time we | | | | was that the individual driver did not own the |
| approached a built up area there was the same | | | | road. |
| quickening of the pulse the inevitable perspiration | | | | The driver shares the road equally with anybody |
| and the tightening of the throat that suggested | | | | else who wants to use it. |
| panic was not to far away. | | | | That includes pedestrians, animals, motor cycles, |
| The culmination was in a place called Cefalu. A | | | | scooters, bikes, in fact anyone. |
| beautiful old port where we decided to look for a | | | | This causes people to drive at a speed that allows |
| hotel, dump the car and indulge in a seafood | | | | them to give way to anyone else who wants to |
| frenzy with a bottle of the delightfully fresh pink | | | | use the road. |
| Sicilian wine. | | | | There is no stress because you can't get angry |
| We descended the hill towards the harbour. | | | | with someone who respects your right to do |
| The lower we got the narrower became the | | | | what you want to do. |
| street until we discovered why Italian cars have | | | | The difference between the two countries, and |
| retractable wing mirrors when we reached the old | | | | the two different driving styles seems to be the |
| town. | | | | way that we regard the road. |
| We couldn't stop or turn round, we were part of | | | | In the UK the road is treated as if it was our |
| the tide of traffic that was washing us inevitably | | | | possession, to be defended against all comers |
| towards the harbour, the end of the line. | | | | who would try to steal from us the piece of road |
| Suddenly the buildings fell away and there was | | | | immediately around us that is rightfully ours. |
| open space, a glorious feeling of freedom that | | | | That means driving really close to the car in front |
| lasted only briefly until we realised why we were | | | | when one of the lanes is coned off to stop |
| on our own, we had found our way onto the top | | | | anybody getting in. |
| of the harbour wall. | | | | It means travelling too fast in town because we |
| There was no way forward and back was the | | | | have a right to the road and the old lady trying to |
| same maze of narrow streets that we had just | | | | get home with her shopping does not. |
| come from. | | | | It means shouting at cyclists because they have |
| We were going to have to turn around. | | | | no right to clutter our piece of road and they |
| I had never found the three point turn particularly | | | | have not paid for the right to use it. |
| challenging while there were curbs to halt your | | | | It means blaming everybody else for the |
| progress and hedges and walls by which you could | | | | confusion and carnage on our roads because we |
| determine your position in the road. | | | | take no responsibility for ourselves. |
| The manoeuvre on the top of that harbour wall | | | | In Italy everybody accepts responsibility for their |
| with nothing to stop a sudden desperate plunge | | | | own piece of road in an unselfish way. This means |
| into the water was nerve wracking. | | | | that they drive always looking out for the other |
| My god daughter had to get out of the car and | | | | person who also wants to use the road. |
| was trying to guide me closer to the edge but I | | | | The Italian drivers are equally patient with the |
| was petrified and it took nearly twenty minutes | | | | young lad on the scooter trying to get to school |
| of backing and filling before we were finally | | | | as they are with the pizza delivery man who is |
| around. | | | | trying to turn left across the traffic or the old |
| Now we were facing the same narrow streets | | | | lady trying to get home with the shopping. |
| that we had just come through but after the | | | | This is where the feel of the two countries |
| manoeuvre on the harbour wall they suddenly did | | | | differs, from the barely controlled anarchy in the |
| not seem so threatening. | | | | UK that leads to cutting up, speeding and road |
| On the way in it had seemed as if everything | | | | rage, to the chaotic friendliness of Italy where |
| was gradually closing in and we were continually | | | | you respect the desires of other road users and |
| having our space threatened by the encroaching | | | | they respect yours. |
| walls. | | | | The UK anarchy leaves us stressed and irritable |
| On the way out it was as if our personal space | | | | with an unsatisfactory experience while the Italian |
| had been shrunk as far as it would go and now | | | | experience slips on like a comfortable pair of |
| as we travelled back through those same narrow | | | | shoes. |
| streets we ourselves seemed to have shrunk | | | | Having learned to drive the Italian way, it is now |
| down to a size that meant we were now | | | | an uncomfortable experience returning to drive in |
| comfortable driving through the same streets that | | | | the UK. |
| had proved so traumatic on the way in. | | | | Maybe it is time to stop telling jokes about Italian |
| We managed to get out of the old town without | | | | drivers, before the real truth emerges. |
| too much drama and were heading for the main | | | | |