| Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was | | | | globe. Also known as "Dead at 17," and "Please |
| added to the overwhelming statistics of | | | | God, I'm Only 17" is a stanching piece that has |
| drunk-driving, related deaths. One minute, he's full | | | | hailed teenagers and parents alike.As a ritual, this |
| of vitality and attending our local high school, the | | | | literature is ground into the core of my thought |
| next his unsuspecting parents are identifying him | | | | processes. Not too long ago, we were all faced |
| in a local morgue. The harsh reality of this brutal | | | | with enticements of "...let's go to that party...", |
| scenerio is sometimes very difficult to | | | | "...come, on...it's only a few miles up the road. He's |
| comprehend."Where did I go wrong?" "Didn't I talk | | | | not drunk...he's only had a few beers...." "Sure she |
| enough with my child?" "I thought he knew | | | | can drive...she's done this a million times before..." |
| better..." "I assumed he was just at a friend's | | | | And all too often, teenagers fall to peer pressure |
| house..."These, and various other queries, are all | | | | because they want to be cool, popular or part of |
| similar questions parents tend to ask themselves | | | | the "in-crowd." Sadly, many do become victims of |
| after an incident or accident involving DUI or DWI | | | | psychological pressure tactics.There is not a week |
| (Driving Under the Influence, or Driving While | | | | that goes by that I don't think of "Only 17." Being |
| Intoxicated).According to MADD (Mothers Against | | | | a mother of two teenage kids, the thought is a |
| Drunk Driving), NHTSA (National Highway Traffic | | | | constant in my mind. As a parent, it is imperative |
| Safety Administration) and the NIAAA (National | | | | that we adamantly involve ourselves in our |
| Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism), | | | | childrens' lives. I'm not saying that we become |
| | | | overbearing and intrusive, but we must demand |
| Parents' drinking behavior and favorable attitudes | | | | intolerance of drinking and driving. While most |
| about drinking have been positively associated | | | | teenagers will experience with alcohol at some |
| with adolescents' initiating and continued drinking. | | | | point in their growing-up years, we have to learn |
| (NIAAA, 1997) | | | | to expect it. It is not a question of if, it's a matter |
| Youth who drink before age 15 are four times | | | | of when.And like all parents, we don't want to |
| more likely to develop alcohol dependence than | | | | accept the fact that our child or children would |
| those who begin drinking at age 21. (NIAAA, | | | | engage in sometimes-lethal behavior. But it can |
| 1997) | | | | happen to the best of families. Drinking and driving |
| Underage drinkers are responsible for between | | | | doesn't simply effect a certain stereotypical group |
| 10 and 20 percent of all alcohol consumed in the | | | | of persons - it doesn't have a preference of |
| United States. (NAS, 2003) | | | | social, economical, racial, geographical, and sexual |
| In 2002, 29 percent of 15 to 20-year-old drivers | | | | lines. No, peer pressure is out there, and if you're |
| killed in motor vehicle crashes had been drinking. | | | | not paying attention and interactively pursuing the |
| Twenty-four percent were intoxicated. | | | | matter, your child could become a statistic.One of |
| Research continues to show that young drivers | | | | my beliefs is to continuously talk with my children |
| between 15 and 20 years old are more often | | | | about drinking. I wasn't born yesterday, so I know |
| involved in alcohol-related crashes than any other | | | | that alcohol is waiting at the ready. What do I do |
| comparable age group. Alcohol-crash involvement | | | | about it? For starters, I have ritually engrained the |
| rates, share of the alcohol-crash problem and | | | | fact that drinking and driving kills. Period. Since |
| alcohol-crash risk all reach their peaks with young | | | | they were old enough to understand the principles |
| drivers, with the peaks for fatal crashes occurring | | | | of drinking and driving, I have made it a point to |
| at age 21. (NHTSA, 2001) | | | | "be there" for my kids. You see, one of the |
| Based on the latest mortality data available, | | | | biggest problems with teenagers is that if you |
| motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of | | | | isolate them with negative communication, it can |
| death for people from 15 to 20 years old. | | | | virtually destroy any attempt of "keeping them |
| (NHTSA, 2003) | | | | safe."A encouraging opening line to your teenager |
| Of course, statistically speaking, the list could go | | | | might be, "...although I don't condone drinking, |
| on and on. All too often, we as parents get | | | | please call me - no matter where you are, no |
| caught up in the daily grind of work, household | | | | matter what time it is, whether you're drunk or |
| chores, and other engagements. Sometimes we | | | | not, or if you're somewhere you weren't |
| forget how to prioritize our committments. | | | | supposed to be. I'll come and pick you up. It's not |
| Ironically though, it is our teenage children who | | | | cool to get into a car with someone who's been |
| suffer from our own strategies on making their | | | | drinking - ever. I promise not to be angry with |
| lives more comfortable.John J. Berrio wrote a | | | | you. I'd rather you come home alive than |
| shocking but enlightening, infamous piece on | | | | dead."This is something that I say to my own |
| teenage vehicular-related death based on a | | | | teenagers - every chance I get. And with a |
| friend's son:Only 17Agony claws my mind. I am a | | | | season of holidays upon us, it is even more vital |
| statistic. When I first got here I felt very much | | | | that we communicate with our kids. Holiday |
| alone. I was overwhelmed by grief, and I | | | | statistics show that there is, on average, a nearly |
| expected to find sympathy.I found no sympathy. | | | | 50% overall chance of a traffic-related fatality. |
| I saw only thousands of others whose bodies | | | | What unnecassary risks are we willing to take? |
| were as badly mangled as mine. I was given a | | | | Not only is talking with our children crucial, it is |
| number and placed in a category. The category | | | | important to stay involved in our childrens' lives. |
| was called "Traffic Fatalities."The day I died was | | | | Knowing where your child is - is NOT intrusive. |
| an ordinary school day. How I wish I had taken | | | | Knowing what your child is doing - is NOT |
| the bus! But I was too cool for the bus. I | | | | intrusive.Set guidelines for your teenagers. We |
| remember how I wheedled the car out of Mom. | | | | can't protect them from everything - that's a fact |
| "Special favor," I pleaded. "All the kids drive." | | | | of life. There are just some things that we can't |
| When the 2:50 p.m. bell rang, I threw my books in | | | | do as parents - but what we can do is become |
| the locker ... free until tomorrow morning! I ran to | | | | active participants in their lives. Just as we |
| the parking lot, excited at the thought of driving a | | | | support our children at athletic events like football |
| car and being my own boss.It doesn't matter how | | | | games, cheerleading sessions, field and track, (just |
| the accident happened. I was goofing off -- going | | | | to name a few), we can support our teenagers |
| too fast, taking crazy chances. But I was enjoying | | | | from the sidelines...giving them impromptu |
| my freedom and having fun. The last thing I | | | | examples on how to be successful, and how to |
| remember was passing an old lady who seemed | | | | lead life in a fun but responsible manner.Here are |
| to be going awfully slow. I heard a crash and felt | | | | some tips at developing open communication lines |
| a terrific jolt. Glass and steel flew everywhere. My | | | | with your teenagers:1. Cell phones are valuable |
| whole body seemed to be turning inside out. I | | | | assets in keeping up with your kids. Make sure |
| heard myself scream.Suddenly, I awakened. It | | | | you allow them to use them if going "out to a |
| was very quiet. A police officer was standing | | | | friend's house..." or "party." Cell phones give kids a |
| over me. I saw a doctor. My body was mangled. I | | | | sense of responsibility and most often, they will |
| was saturated with blood. Pieces of jagged glass | | | | use them to phone you if they're caught in a |
| were sticking out all over. Strange that I couldn't | | | | desperate situation.2. Keep negative thoughts to |
| feel anything. Hey, don't pull that sheet over my | | | | yourself. We may not like the fact that our kids |
| head. I can't be dead. I'm only 17. I've got a date | | | | might drink; we might even be boiling over with |
| tonight. I'm supposed to have a wonderful life | | | | anger - but if they do drink, don't slam them for |
| ahead of me. I haven't lived yet. I can't be | | | | it. The next time, they may not call you.3. Access. |
| dead.Later I was placed in a drawer. My folks | | | | If you know that there might be a possibility of |
| came to identify me. Why did they have to see | | | | drinking, talk to your teenagers. Don't assume |
| me like this? Why did I have to look at Mom's | | | | that Billy-down-the-street who comes from a |
| eyes when she faced the most terrible ordeal of | | | | "good" family won't be offering liquor or beer. |
| her life? Dad suddenly looked very old. He told the | | | | Reiterate your position on drinking in a positive |
| man in charge, "Yes, he's our son."The funeral | | | | declaration, but at the same time, reinforce your |
| was weird. I saw all my relatives and friends walk | | | | availability to them. This could be a make-or-break |
| toward the casket. They looked at me with the | | | | life, preserving decision on your part.4. Resolve. |
| saddest eyes I've ever seen. Some of my | | | | When we acknowledge the fact that kids may |
| buddies were crying. A few of the girls touched | | | | drink alcoholic beverages, we aren't so shocked |
| my hand and sobbed as they walked by.Please, | | | | and disturbed when it does occur. The number 1 |
| somebody -- wake me up! Get me out of here. I | | | | rule for combatting drinking and driving issues is to |
| can't bear to see Mom and Dad in such pain. My | | | | stay informed, stay alert and never assume |
| grandparents are so weak from grief they can | | | | anything. We were all teenagers once and we |
| barely walk. My brother and sister are like | | | | know how quickly events can change for the |
| zombies. They move like robots. In a daze. | | | | better or worse. It's up to us as parents to instill |
| Everybody. No one can believe this. I can't believe | | | | proper attitudes about drinking and driving so to |
| it, either.Please, don't bury me! I'm not dead! I | | | | prevent alcohol-related traffic fatalities.In closing, I |
| have a lot of living to do! I want to laugh and run | | | | encourage folks to let their children read, "Only |
| again. I want to sing and dance. Please don't put | | | | 17." It is, by far, the most impressive piece of |
| me in the ground! I promise if you give me just | | | | literature of our time. If you don't know how to |
| one more chance, God, I'll be the most careful | | | | talk to your children, seek private counsel so you |
| driver in the whole world. All I want is one more | | | | can. Our youth is the vital component our |
| chance. Please, God, I'm only 17.By John Berrio | | | | existence - they are, afterall our leaders of |
| ____________________________This | | | | tomorrow. Invest in them today by being an |
| well-known story has been circulated across the | | | | integral part of their lives. |