| Asking someone out that you have had your eye | | | | Say something like, "What do you like to do on |
| on can be nerve racking. What do you say? How | | | | the weekends?" As she responds, look for |
| do you say it? Dating service It's Just Lunch | | | | something you like to do too. If she says she |
| provides tips for asking someone out on a date. | | | | loves to hike, respond with, "We should go hiking |
| What to Say | | | | together sometime," then move on in the |
| First, relax. Try not to view it as a date, look at | | | | conversation and ask about her favorite hiking |
| asking her out as an invitation instead. Better still - | | | | spots. You've just dropped a big hint, so let it sink |
| take the pressure off by not using the "D" word | | | | in for a while. Listen carefully to her response and |
| altogether. Don't ask for a date and don't call it a | | | | gauge her enthusiasm. If she stays upbeat and |
| date. It starts to get significant when that word | | | | positive, ask her if she would like to go hiking with |
| appears, so focus on the activity and position it in | | | | you next weekend. |
| the same informal way you would ask a friend. | | | | - Keep it casual. If you feel uncomfortable saying, |
| Keep the invitation light and casual. A lunch date is | | | | "Would you like to go to dinner Friday night?" try |
| low pressure - it has a beginning and an end, and | | | | something like this: |
| both occur within an hour or so. It's easy to say | | | | "I was thinking about going for a ride along the |
| goodbye, there's no goodnight kiss, no obligation, | | | | boardwalk on Sunday. It's going to be a beautiful |
| and so the pressure is off. | | | | day. Would you like to go with me?" Pose the |
| Here's What Not to Say | | | | question as if you're already going and they can |
| - Don't ask, "You want to go out sometime?" It's | | | | join you, if interested. This will make you feel less |
| too open-ended and can lead to an awkward | | | | desperate and take the pressure off them if they |
| follow-up conversation. | | | | say no. |
| - Don't ask, "What are you doing Friday night?" | | | | - Be specific when asking for the date. "I'd like to |
| It's too vague and it might leave your potential | | | | take you for coffee this Thursday" is more |
| date wondering if you're just curious about what | | | | powerful than asking if she'd like to "go out |
| he or she is doing on Friday night, or if you want | | | | sometime." Of course, you could always invite the |
| to do something together. | | | | person on a group date, since that really takes |
| - Don't use a sexually suggestive line like, "I'd love | | | | the pressure off. |
| to have breakfast with you. Should I call you or | | | | Invite them bowling, to play volleyball, or to join a |
| nudge you?" It might be funny if you read it in a | | | | bunch of friends for a drink or to a party. As |
| book, but in the real world, it's liable to get you a | | | | soon as you say, "A bunch of us are going to..." it |
| speedy rejection. | | | | takes the pressure off. "Us" is the operative word |
| These types of lines don't show that you're | | | | here. |
| genuinely interested in a person - they make you | | | | Read the situation. If you've hung out for a while |
| seem a little too slick. | | | | and all the signs suggest your potential date |
| What Works Best? | | | | shares your feelings, then either a) you won't be |
| Before you ask, consider the following: | | | | able to keep your hands off each other, or b) |
| - Be a friend first, not a potential date. If you | | | | you'll be able to suggest meeting up for an |
| really want to get to know someone better, the | | | | evening out knowing that's what they want too! If |
| key is to relax and allow your own personality to | | | | that vibe isn't happening, at the very least you'll |
| shine through. There really is no need to be a | | | | have made a new friend. |
| smart-ass, or make them laugh out loud. You just | | | | So remember, when you are asking someone |
| need to be good company, because the more | | | | out, plan ahead and be specific. Know what you |
| comfortable you both feel, the easier it is to | | | | are going to say AND what you want to suggest |
| recognize any chemistry between you. In short, | | | | doing on the date. Your prospective dates will be |
| forget the pickup lines. Show an interest in them, | | | | much more comfortable if they know exactly |
| and they will only be flattered. | | | | what you want to do. Just try to relax and enjoy |
| - Create an opportunity for your date. Once you | | | | yourself. Worst case scenario- they'll say they |
| know more about what that person likes to do, | | | | can't go out. And that will bring you one step |
| you can offer something. After all, a date is an | | | | closer to someone who can. Someone who |
| invitation. If they love art, ask them to the latest | | | | appreciates you and where the chemistry |
| big museum exhibition; if they like sports, offer | | | | connection is reciprocated and the sparks really |
| tickets to a basketball game. If they enjoy wine, | | | | fly. Let's face it, getting to that special someone |
| ask them to a wine tasting. | | | | inevitably means dealing with a few duds along |
| - Drop a hint. Ask about a subject and drop a hint. | | | | the way. It'll be worth it in the end. |