| You may think by the title that this needs | | | | til it was replaced with the words 'oh |
| little or no explaining, but after my recent | | | | god'.My vision started to disappear in the |
| experience I feel it my duty to warn you | | | | EXACT same fashion as the end scene of |
| should a similar situation present itself to | | | | Terminator 2. First it narrowed in the |
| you.It starts off a normal night drinking, | | | | horizontal plane, then the vertical, then |
| nothing out of the ordinary. Drinking, | | | | disappeared with a 'pop'.That's where my |
| laughing, music, you know the norm. Then out | | | | memories end. You may think I passed out and |
| the corner of your eye you see someone | | | | while I wish that were true it wasn't. My |
| sporting a shiny plastic golden medal with | | | | body carried on while my mind had shut |
| the words 'winner' branded on the front. I | | | | down.It starts with people trying to get me |
| eye up the shiny medal, feeling slightly | | | | into bed after they found me to be uttering |
| jealous as I don't have one. More drinking | | | | complete jibberish and making no sense |
| ensues. Then another person is sporting a | | | | whatsoever. After numerous attempts to get me |
| medal just like the first. Now I REALLY want | | | | to stay there I finally settle down only to |
| a medal! I ask the bearer of the medal where | | | | warble away at the top of my voice in the |
| he got it from, a cryptic message follows | | | | fashion of an enormous Mogwai.Embarrasing |
| "you haven't earned a medal". Now I don't | | | | enough you might think, but oh no, it gets |
| REALLY want a medal, I YEARN for a medal. I | | | | better. For some reason, in the middle of the |
| beg the bearer to allow me to earn a medal, | | | | night, I must have thought it was a good idea |
| he leads me to a room where there is a chair | | | | to come downstairs where a few of the more |
| in the middle of the room.I am placed upon | | | | sober guests still remained IN ONLY MY BOXER |
| the chair and a cocktail is mixed before my | | | | SHORTS! A sight and a half at best, I'm not |
| eyes, multiple shots of Jack Daniels, rum, | | | | the smallest person and the sight of my naked |
| countless other spirits, and beer are mixed | | | | belly is enough to stop darts in mid air! I |
| together to fill exactly 1 pint glass. A | | | | then proceded to make myself comfortable next |
| funnel is then thrust into my mouth and the | | | | to the host and repeatedly punch him in the |
| contents of the pint glass poured into the | | | | leg, all I can say is it must have made sense |
| funnel. GOD IT BURNS! I brave the burning | | | | at the time. After the assault I took myself |
| sensation and drink the cocktail as fast as | | | | off to bed and slept like a baby only to have |
| possible among the chants from the | | | | my antics retold to me in the morning amongst |
| surrounding people. Within a few seconds of | | | | a HUGE headache, which could only be topped |
| the lethal cocktail being poured in to the | | | | off by the fact that it was revealed to me I |
| funnel it was gone and the medal was now | | | | was caught on a camcorder throughout the |
| mine! For a while I sat content knowing that | | | | whole ordeal! GREAT!Well let that be a lesson |
| I had earned the prize of prizes, a plastic | | | | to one and all, if you see someone sporting a |
| shiny medal sporting the word 'winner'.The | | | | shiny plastic 'winner' medal, try to ignore |
| feeling of content and pride didn't last long | | | | it because it'll end in tears! |